Get out!

One of my sisters texted me earlier this week with this: I need to pick up my mom at 2pm. Can you get out of work early? thanks.

My reaction was, WHAT!? Are you freaking kidding me!? Just because I have the freedom to work from home when I need to doesn't mean I will let others dictate onto me when I need to work from home, let alone let someone dictate to me when I need be at home!

My reply to her text was: I work Friday.

I didn't hear anything else from her the rest of the week until mid morning yesterday with another text: "Look, I never ask you for any favors and I need my mom by 2pm. Look I'm paying for a babysitter and I need her. Please do me this favor."

This really got to me. My sisters never paid for a nanny or babysitter. My mom always helped with nothing in return. I am different. I do pay my mother to watch my girls.

My response to her was: I work all day today. Sorry.

She replied again: Look, please do me this favor and get out early. How about 4pm?

I said. "No. Call to discuss." She then, texted, "never mind."

Who in the hell does she think she is to tell me when I need to get out of work!? When was the last time anyone told you to get out of work because their purpose was greater than yours!?

I was irritated and upset beyond my control. I got home at 4:45pm. Our boss was nice enough to let us out at 3pm. I went shopping and took my time to get home.

What would you have done in my situation?

Sibling Stress

To Travel or Not to Travel

A conversation with my mom:

Mom: We are celebrating your grandmother's 80th b/day in March next year.

me: Really!? That's awesome.

Mom: Everyone is going to fly back home for the surprise b/day party. You should consider going.

me: Mom, I'm paying off my debt right now. As a matter of fact, I got one more credit card to pay off and we should be debt free. I'm not sure whether or not we should be done with it by next March. Besides, I'm not sure, I would want to go without my husband and my babies. If we all go, that would cost a fortune and right now we just don't have.

Mom: You should really consider it. Your siblings are going, including your brother.

me: Like I said, I need to pay off my debt before I can travel free from debt stress.


I'm not sure she liked my answer but I already know that I will not be leaving my family behind for a party. I love my grandmother but I don't have money for a really expensive plane ticket.

Go ahead party without me! I'll toast to her health here in the States with a very expensive wine.

I'm feeling bitter.

Bitterly Stressing.

Friend Dates

After complaining that my phone wasn't ringing, it finally rang. Not once or twice but three times.

Blond Friend: Let's go out to lunch! Check. Although my lunch date with my Friend left me extremely sad for her. She's unemployed, single mom with a boyfriend who has already beat her twice! She has given him an ultimatum. Really!? you have? I didn't think that deadbeats deserved an ultimatum! She's living in her ex-boyfriends condo and broke. I feel for her.

Latina Friend: We went out for drinks. Check. She's seeing four guys! One is living with her. She's got stress, very different than mine and no I do not wish to live her lifestyle...way too gross. In my single life, I always wanted that exclusiveness, you know, to feel special. She's going to Los Cabos with one of them. He's paying for everything. The second love interest is a VP of an international company she works for. The third is a banker and the fourth who lives with her owns a restaurant.

Asian Friend: She called me to see if I was interested in doing this workout at the gym. I accepted and when I was getting ready to go, our garage door broke! So, I couldn't make my workout date with her. I'm going this coming weekend again.

So, perhaps complaining about no one calling me worked!

Half Stressed.

Is that my phone ringing?

No, that is not my phone ringing but I truly want my phone to ring only it just doesn't. Since, I have become a mom, no one seems to bother to call me and ask me out or want to do things with me. I'm not a bore. Everyone seemed to want to go out and have fun with me when I was single, what happened? My best friend still single and boyfriends still come and go in a carousel. By the time 7pm hits every night, all I hit is the couch from exhaustion. Although, there are nights that I do want to hang out at a patio and/or bar and just talk with friends, but they seem out of touch with my new lifestyle.

Perhaps, I should start making friends with other mom's but the problem with that is other mom's are busy with their children so that's out of the questions unless a mom out there feels like I do, but who is going to come forward and say, "hey, you want to hang out with me? All my single friends have abandoned me because, well, I'm a mom, let's cheer to that."

Sucks, doesn't it.

Ring, Ring.

Wanted

We are interviewing for a Nanny. My mother is leaving us in September and we have to make two decisions: I quit my job or we hire a nanny.

We decided to start interviewing just in case we find someone suitable for the job my mom has being doing since our first daughter was born.

Nanny #1 - She's from Peru and has the experience we are looking for. Everything was going fine until we discussed pay. She's legally in this country but in order to claim her in our taxes, she'll charge us more. If we do not, she'll charge us less. We are only offering this amount of $$ and 3 days a week. She wants 5 days.

She's exceptional and I would pay her whatever she wants and give her 5 days a week if I had the money to afford her but we do not. Both of our hearts were broken when we realized we can't hired her. She's excellent! She comes with great recommendations but we just can't. sucks!

Nanny #2 - She's from Mexico and she does not have experience as a Nanny but is a teacher in Mexico for preschoolers. She's ok with 3 days a week for the pay we are offering. She's here on a Tourist Visa and plans on going back every 6 months to renew it and as long as her son attends college here the Mexican Consulate agrees to extend it every time. Her husband is an Architect.

We hit it off very well so we are really considering her. We'll see. More details to come.

I still need to call two more people interested in the job.

This is stressfull. Trusting a stranger to come into your house to watch, play, feed your children. this double sucks!

-Patienly Stressed.

Yes, Ma'am

My mother has been extremely secretive since my sisters decided to buy her a house in our "native country." They couldn't successfully buy it therefore they rented the house. Since then, my mother has defended every wrong they do but has offended me by calling me names.

This incident happened two weeks after I gave birth to my second child. It was hard to forgive her, which I did, and our relationship has not been the same since then.

I wonder, many times, what's going to happen when they can't "afford" to pay rent in that house. They can't come to me, it's a pride thing.

All I do is say, sure mom, you are right and I'm wrong. But 98% of the time, I just keep to myself and never ask what is none of my business this way, I'm not involved in drama.

You are not invited

I have two younger sister that seemed to be in the "know it all" category in life. They have, I judge, to be in the know with the "right" crowd of people around them. They fancied themselves around people who have more than them, i.e, beautiful house, luxury cars, well to do, kids in private school, got it?

Sister #1 - I'll call her Freckles. Lives with boyfriend, her son is from her other live in boyfriend whom she left because he abused her. Her second son is from this Argentinian man she met online, this Argentinian man flew all the way here to the States to meet her, slept with her (obviously), she got pregnant, he went back to South America, then after two years, Freckles decides to send her undesired child to Mexico never to be seen again (my sister is not from Mexico!) Her excuse, I can't support two kids, but one. Now her current live in boyfriend has her in a nice house, she doesn't have to work, bought her a new car and she still can't support two kids. How's that for mother of the year.

Sister #2 - I'll call her Clueless. Is currently separating from her husband of 14 years because, he doesn't like sports, doesn't know how to fix things around the house, she's the one with the pants on, and he doesn't like to drink and party as much as she does. She likes to hang out with people with "money." She behaves like she's 18.

Neither of them know how to set healthy boundaries and do not know how to follow through. They don't like me because they feel I'm too different than they are, I'm not cool enough like they are. Clueless has weight issues, and Freckles is codependent. Me? I'm realist who calls it like it is and they hate it! I can be rude about it at times and it happens when I have been overly patient with them therefore, I explode.

What is the bad thing about this situation. I love them. But I can't be used by them anymore. They have noticed that I have changed towards them. There comes a point in life when you say, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH."

It has been a year since, I have stopped them from manipulating me and they have stopped inviting me to family gatherings. It is OK. I'm spared from the drama, the heartache they have caused me all these years and most importantly, my time and gas!

Sincerely,

Stressed.